You Can’t Make Someone Love You

You can’t make someone love you, but you can put the effort it takes to try back into loving yourself.

I will admit there is something romantic, beautiful and exciting about finally winning over the heart of someone you once didn’t stand a chance with. There are times when this works out well for all involved, but most of the time it leaves one- or both feeling defeated, unworthy, inadequate and heartbroken. Some people are just not meant to love us the way we deserve but it doesn’t mean we aren’t deserving it just means they are not our people. 

When you try for something so hard that doesn’t show many signs of ever working you not only lose the relationship itself when it ends but you lose the feeling of victory for the effort it took to gain it in the first place. This alone is tough to come back from. 

This doesn’t mean never try for something or don’t give the best you have. There is a difference between trying to make someone love you and just showing someone what is so lovable about you. If you have to put everything you have into convincing someone you’re worth it, you’re lovable and deserving then chances are if they don’t see it they most likely never fully will and you’ll spend a life time of energy keeping them convinced. This is also extremely unattractive and will more than likely push people further from you than draw them in. 

You teach people how to treat you and if you show them that they can expect you are ALWAYS at your best, that you’ll bend over backwards for them, that you’ll never say no, you’re always available then that is what they’ll learn to expect and when the reality of life hits you may just find yourself alone to deal with the tough stuff because they didn’t sign up for that. They signed up, if at all, for being bent over backwards for, worshipped and adored and won’t take any less and while we could all use much of this in our life, there must be a healthy balance. 

You do not need to convince someone to love you. You cannot make someone see what they don’t already see and why the hell would you want to? Love doesn’t have to be hard and exhausting and heartbreaking every other week. In fact it absolutely should not be. Sure there will be ups and downs in relationships but most important is to know without a doubt that you won’t be riding alone when the going gets tough.

Use the energy it takes to show someone else you’re worth it to love on yourself. Show yourself the love, devotion and worship you are so willing to give to someone else and surely someone will come along and love you just as you want and deserve because you will have taught them how by the example of how you treat yourself.

You’re worth it, I promise xo