“No one will ever love you”

He screamed down the hall at me,

As my body slinked slowly down the cold metal shelving

Landing my work clothes, on a layer of grease,

As I prayed that the ground would open up and swallow me.

I can’t really remember what felt worse, the cringe of humiliation,

Or the sting of his words.

What I know now for sure is the embarrassment passed quick,

but every once in a while,

The echo of those words still comes back to visit.

That moment was a catalyst, not the main event,

For I hardly believed I was worthy, long before we ever met,

Which is exactly what brought me to that moment.

I wish that I could say it was the first and the last,
 but when there’s nowhere left to fall, sometimes we slum,

until we find some solid ground, one small piece of truth, to rebuild ourselves on.

A deep core wound, that negates our worth, can lead us to situations

That reinforce our deepest fears & wounds.

Taking responsibility, not for the acts inflicted upon me

But for my own internal beliefs,

Is what saved me from a lifetime, of choosing love that felt like hate.

Although it took some time to release the addiction to the pain

The more I knew how worthy I was,

The less disfunction I craved.

And even when the last whisper of those words,

Comes rising to the surface,

The unconditional Love and Reverence I have for myself,

Heals their origin

Reminding me not of what is true,

But what still needs my unconditional love & acceptance.

Every loving thought & intention,

demolishes their inception.

And I rise higher & love deeper,

with every decision to own my Power.